I guess I am just venting now since its my blog I can do that if I want to...

So how does a perfectly relaxing, and fun day change so drastically in less than 10 minutes? Everything was going great, then BAM!! my daughter and I are lockin horns in an all out yelling match for what seems like the millionth time! And it was again over something VERY STUPID. I don't understand why its so hard for her to get it through her head that no matter what, you don't back talk, disrespect, or disobey your parents. It doesn't matter if you think the rules are stupid or if you don't agree with them, they are there for a reason... and I am TIRED of trying to explain to her why!

WHY must I have this problem with her so often?!?! Its like every week now, its like she has the same mental damage that Drew Barrymore had in 50 first dates, only its every week not every day! I have to explain all over again at least once sometimes twice a week why its not ok for her to watch certain TV shows, why its not ok for my daughter to eat food in MY BED in MY room... why its not ok for her to walk around the house running off at the mouth about how much her life sucks because her mean dad wont let her watch a stupid tv show or wont let her do whatever she wants to do.... why its not ok to wear clothes that attract negative attention and unwanted opinions.... why its not ok to try and put herself on the same level as her mother and father...

She has the NERVE to tell me that she acts like a 5 year old because I treat her like one! Lets see, so is giving your daughter a TV and DVD player for her own room treating her like a 5 year old? Is giving her more flexibility to babysit on her own treating her like a 5 year old? Does letting her do whatever she wants after homework and chores are done mean treating her like a 5 year old? Does laying down boundaries and rules to keep structure in the home mean treating her like a 5 year old? Does letting her cook dinner at least 2 times a week without adult supervision mean treating her like a 5 year old?

See, when ever she tries to push outside of the boundaries I set, and then gets caught, that's when we have these big blow ups. Cause she thinks I will not notice and she ALWAYS tries to break the rules or slide by and it drives me ABSOLUTELY CRAZY cause each time I have to remind her that its NOT OK to say "I forgot" or "I think that rule is stupid so I am not going to follow it". Its like she WANTS me to get angry, because she knows if she pushes me hard enough I will. Then I start yelling and then she yells louder till I end up leaving the room screaming and shes crying in her room! I am so sick and tired of this crap, its at least twice a month! I have been trying SO FRICKIN HARD to keep from letting her push me to that point, I try so hard, and each time I think I am gonna snap I try to leave the room or go calm down but it doesn't help! Its like she smells blood and goes in for the kill! I don't understand why she feels the need to not only test me every time but why she has to keep pushing me to the breaking point! What is the motivation? What possible reason is there for a daughter to keep pushing her father to the point of extreme anger!

I am shaking so bad right now as I am typing this cause I am just out of ideas and so frustrated beyond belief! My wife doesn't know what to do either, she freaks out too when Adrian pushes her buttons, and we both get mad at each other for letting her push each other to that limit.
I guess I am just venting now since its my blog I can do that if I want to.

God I pray please for your guidance and your understanding, Lord PLEASE help me deal with this problem, I need you to help me be the father you want me to be, I need you to help me be the husband and man you want me to be. Please come into this home and repair what is broken, calm the anger and frustration that is tearing at the foundation of this family! I pray Lord that you touch my daughters heart with your love and patience, help her to see and understand YOUR WILL in her life, YOUR rules and boundaries Lord, not just mine. Help me to learn more patience and anger management so that when my children test my authority that I handle it they way I should, with love and compassion. God please bless this home with your Holy Spirit, please bless us with your divine intervention and teach us your ways. I pray Lord that my family will grow to learn more about you and your son Jesus, that we would learn to walk in your ways and follow Christ Jesus in every aspect of our lives.

Like I said, amazed!

I am truly amazed at the generosity of strangers... someone we barely just met left a crap load of groceries on our doorstep today...

I know who left it, because this couple's daughter and my daughter go to the same school. Recently Adrian spent the night over at her house, and when I went to pick her up I did some minor computer/networking work for the mom and dad. When I left they threw two boxes of canned goods in my trunk including a frozen turkey! Then I was backing out of my driveway this morning, and noticed a few more sacks of food on our doorstep. WOW! I didn't even tell them we needed food, they just said, here! Please take this for your family. Like I said, amazed!

Apparently, they are going through tough times like us, with lay offs and such... So their immediate family was very generous and provided a ton (literally a truck load) of food for them, and when they heard from Adrian that I was laid off I think they felt like God told them to give some of that to us. Now we are not hurting by any means, but things are really tight and if it wasn't for the Vision food card we would be in real trouble. But even with the Vision card, we are cutting back on a lot of expenses and food consumption. This extra food we've been given now will of course eventually be all eaten, but it will go a long way towards helping us save money and get back on our feet.

I really am very blessed to know people like that, and out of respect I am not mentioning their names. But I know who you are, and I just want to say publicly a big THANK YOU and GOD BLESS YOU! I'm inclined to believe that Jesus has a special place in heaven for people such as these!

David

WHATEVER!

This week we are focusing in more on the gaming convention we are planning on for June of this year. Its going to be called LANKansas, and I am getting very excited about the potential. Some conference calls are scheduled this week with some very big names in the pc and gaming industry, and we are actively seeking sponsors and exhibitors right now. You can follow updates on our twitter page by clicking here and visit our facebook page by clicking here.

Dad told me he is very close to bringing mom home. They have been interviewing some gals for a full time live-in position with mom. They had a very positive meeting with a gal this last weekend. Essentially, she would be living in the basement rent free, and getting paid to take care of mom all day at the house, or take her on errands like to a doctors appointment. In the evenings of course, dad will be there so this gal can still have some free time to herself, but during the day M-F the helper would assist mom so she can get out of that rest home shes staying in.

I will post something when I know more, but it could be as early as Feb 1st when this happens.

Well I didn't get any further in my interview with Enterprise Rental car. The recruiter stated that he wasn't "sold" by my answers to his questions on my career path choices, and that he thought I was unprofessional because I didn't a lot about his company that I was interviewing for. Well, I will take that under consideration... in the mean time I would just like to say a big WHATEVER! Did I mention that it took him over a week to give me that feedback?

Update on Mom

Wanted to give an update on my mom. I have been going to visit her at the El Dorado hospital they transferred her to on Wednesday. Dad said she was transferred there for a psych evaluation because they think she is slipping into depression. Patterns in behavior, changes in habits, and food cravings. Also they were trying to look deeper into why she is still having bladder control problems.

I visited her last night when she arrived to help her settle in and unpack. They said she might be there 3-10 days. When I went to visit her tonight, I brought her some sonic yumminess. She was very happy! I just thought I would spoil her a bit since dad was stuck in Emporia and she was there by herself.

So tonight they said she will go back to Emporia tomorrow, but I don't know anything about what they have come up with and why she had to go there. They will come up from Emporia and get her and bring her back in a van. Then dad will come get her for the weekend.

Funny (but not really) story, while I was visiting mom last night there was this elderly gal named Carol, who instantly latched on to me as soon as I walked in the area where mom was. She was not all there... they said she gravitates to any man that comes in. So anyway she wouldn't leave me alone, and I was trying to be nice. I finally got away and headed into moms room... and she followed me! Then she closed the door right as the nurses realized and she blocked them out for like 5 minutes! They had to push their way in and drag her out cussing and screaming! It was VERY awkward! Then not 5 minutes later she came rushing back in with her tray of food cause she wanted to eat dinner with us! She ended up dropping it all over the floor, then they escorted her out again.

Apparently she lost her husband recently and any man that comes near her makes her think of her him. Its really sad, but kinda funny the way things went down... she was a nice lady but mom and I just kept looking at each other like, "will they please keep this crazy lady out of the room?!?"

David

BTW: YOU SUCK!

Satan sure doesnt waste any time attacking my family on the beginning of our 21 day fast. I am trying to remain calm but this shit is REALLY pissing me off! I just wish I had a daughter who respected me and understood that I am not trying to harm her or be mean to her. Geez I must be the worst dad on the planet because I wanted her to have fruit for an afternoon snack! FRICKIN STUPID!!!!

And the result of me trying to be a good parent:

A daughter in her room screaming and crying and me getting angry and yelling at her for being disrespectful and back talking. And me taking away all her games and fictional books as punishment.

Thanks Satan! You really know how to ruin a day... BTW, YOU SUCK!